Dec 17, 2012 1:30pm PST
to giggle. >> not wall street this would be like "ball street." >>> yo just imagine like tough ass matt dame hon beat up so many people in his "bourne" film, come out after swimming pool, walk over to michael douglas as he's playing liberace, straddle him as he's laying on a chaise lounge and start kissing him. >> how much he getting paid? >> i'll do it for a couple million dollars. >> kiss a dude on camera for a couple million dollars? >> you huhes. >> yo, the first take would have to be a 20-camera shot just to make sure they got it from every angle and got it right. >> y'all be the first one in line to be the damn movie. >> the first one? >> the first one in line. >>> oh! y'all give it up for the rap of the week. >> hey! hey! >> let's go! hey, we rapping all night long but nick cannon does it to mariah carey song. >> let me tell you something that's weird. when you're having sex -- ♪ his favorite song is "you are my hero." >> what's happening with "hobbit"? it is the movie that's coming out on friday making money no doubt. it is directed by the same dude who did
Dec 24, 2012 1:30pm PST
, rock. >> yo, crack, that was kind of funny when you were playing chubby bunny. >> he can't do that to marshmallows. at the end he didn't survive so i'm going to dress up for the first week in january. imaginary. stradivarius violins, the wildest. go to next topic. ♪ twas a night before christmas ♪ a pony.ruise, for real, he just he got a lot of guac. he's got a new movie called "jack reacher" with a real funny name. i heard that the pony he bought was mr. ed. ♪ head crackhead crack i don't need this to be rough but merry christmas and all that stuff. >> happy christmas, merry kwanzaa. happy hanukah. come on, they make the lemon bread out of cake. that's the rap of the week. merry, merry christmas, happy new year. >>> all this week we've been asking you to get more laughs and cash in these photos on "dish nation's" facebook page. it's friday and it is time to get your best caption. >> this picture of elmo and jane lynch -- boy, are you barking up the wrong tree. >> this picture of demi moore and lenny kravitz -- if i don't look, maybe she'll go away. >> or this picture of
Dec 10, 2012 1:30pm PST
. the royal twins are coming. and everybody's humming. say what? yeah, yo, kate middleton and prince william they're about to have a little son or twin daughters. they might have twins. if they both have babies the whole world wins. is he going to get a new king or queen and the whole thing will be straight and serene. i can't wait to see what the queen says if the kid comes out with the redhead. you say hey and what's the dealio? john travolta with a new video? >> i think he had to consult with the psychic. i think you might like it. nobody liked it. it's getting a lot of disses. he used to have hits but now he's getting misses. it's olivia newton john it was supposed to be easy. i had to go and change the channel, dude. a lot of thing's happened since she made xanadu. >> i think somebody's trash is accumulating miles. but she's been with a whole lot of dudes. i'm just being honest. look up the facts i'm not rude. they said she's been dating off and on for about weeks. probably some things going down between the sheets. whatever you want to do. it's the dish nation crew. comment allez vous?
Dec 13, 2012 1:30pm PST
? >> this year you're 15 and you should have had yo know and you should have been tickled by your best friend elmo. >>> online, taylor swift is not the new yoko. lindsay lohan is. she's on tour with "the wanted" because she's keeping her hands on max george so no one else takes him. so the band is saying that she is a terrible influence. >> can i ask a silly question? >> sure. >> didn't max george say she's not my girlfriend? >> yeah. she's not taking no for an answer. >> don't you love that when you say, yeah, i'm not going out with her, the girl goes, oh, yes you are. >> here's the thing that bothers me. it's not as if she doesn't have anything going on in the states. >> no. isn't she supposed to be in court today? >> supposed to be in court. she doesn't have a job. she owes money to the irs and the state of california. >> like charlie sheen. >> she never even said thank you. >> what's she got to do? follow around this kid in a band. >> you don't understand those guys. she needs a break. >> a break from what? >> in the last five years she'd made one horrible tv movie. >> what do you need a
Dec 27, 2012 1:30pm PST
reading of one of their biggest hits. >> yo. when i'm at the mall, security just can't fight them all. >> wow. >> when i'm at the beach, i'm in a speedo trying to tan my checks. what? we headed to the bar. we don't get nervous. >> no shoes, no shirt, and i still get that damn -- >> how did you transport yourself into that? >> when there's lyrics out there for you, they come to you. >>> next -- >> taylor swift. stop trying to make people feel sorry for you. >>> johnny depp posing for a one-eyed pirate. >>> it's no surprise that taylor swift's love life saw a lot of action in 2012. after all, girl has songs to write and albums to sell. so now she has been getting close with one direction's harry stiles after ditching high schooler connor kennedy. >> she probably got tired of helping him with his damn homework. >> you guys ready for a very naughty story? >> ooh, juicy. >> the two biggest pop stars in the world right now, taylor swift, harry stiles. right? celeb bus is recording that harry was seen doing the walk of shame coming out of taylor's hotel room, and then he went back for more.
Dec 31, 2012 1:30pm PST
a good one and they looking at the president and they hear a cat meowing? >> yo, bro -- >> 911, dispatch, can i help you? >> sir. >> no, this is a ma'am. hi, can you help you? >> dude. >> no, i'm still a ma'am. how are you? >> freakin' lincoln meowed at me. >> i'm sorry, sir, could you be more specific? >> the president? >> yes. >> he meowed at me. >>> there's a whole tv show now about food truck wars where people are fighting for the right parking spot in new york city to sell their food. you don't expect to see this with ice cream trucks. >> no. >> especially with a guy named mr. yummy and mr. whippy. >> mr. yummy i'm okay with. mr. whippy, no. >> i'm not letting my kid buy ice cream from his truck. >> this is what went down. it is almost like rival drug dealers. they get back with someone steps on to their turf and tries to sell dope to their kids? >> ice cream men have turf now? >> yes, they do. mr. yummy attacked mr. whippy. he literally got out of his ice cream truck with those tire jacks and smashed mr. whippy's window. >> i don't blame him. >> the worst part is mr. whippy was ser
Dec 9, 2012 11:30pm PST
here for yo